From our first to our last day on earth, we age everyday nonstop. While aging is mandatory and a force of nature like gravity. Emotional maturity isn’t and requires deliberate effort. In other words, we don’t automatically grow up simply because we grow older. This explains why sometimes people of age can behave childishly, and younger people can exhibit extraordinary maturity.
Emotional maturity is the ability to think objectively and conceptually while sustaining deep emotional connections to others. Emotional mature people have a grounded sense of self and identity and relate to others in joyful, respectful and intimate ways. They pursue what they want without exploiting others, thanks to their well-developed empathy, impulse control, and emotional intelligence.
The level of our emotional maturity becomes visible when we are in relationships, personal or professional. Because relationships often serve as mirrors, reflecting back how we show up. In general, we go through 3 phases of emotional development:
- dependent (baby phase) – I am not ok unless you take care of me.
- independent (adolescent phase) – I am self-sufficient, stay away.
- interdependent (adult phase) – We are both self-sufficient, yet we are happier together (1+1=3).
The challenge many of us face is being stuck in phase one and two. Any combination of these two creates perpetual relationship issues at home and workplace. A healthy relationship with self and others is the result of practicing interdependency, which requires emotional maturity on both sides. Keep in mind that we cannot reach interdependency by skipping first two phases of development. We must go through it. Consciously choose to develop ourselves emotionally. That is a decision we can make right now.
